Before, After, After-after...

*Preface*
This will be a long post, but it's an overview of what this whole season has been like for me:) If you want to know anything else about the season, ask! I am sure I'll left things out:)

I've been a little bit MIA lately. On top of competition prep(s), I started a new job a few months ago and have also been in the process of buying a home with my husband...all in all, my brain and priorities have been elsewhere. But, I thought I would throw out a new post:) Just a little updater:

I FINALLY got myself into a good place to be in competition prep around the middle of April; however, it turned out to be a bit of a crunch when my eight week prep turned into a six-week prep (I thought my show was going to be later than it actually was). This turned out to be the shortest prep I have ever done. It was a little bit stressful, but I managed to get on stage feeling pretty good, especially for such a short prep:

June 6. 2015 NPC Utah

This was definitely the least conditioned I have been for a show, but I placed and it turned out to be a good 'warm up' show for the rest of the summer. A few things that were different during this prep:

• no more than 20 minutes/day x5 days of cardio (and really, that much was probably only the last three weeks or so)
• lower caloric intake (averaging 1600/day)
• I spent A LOT of money on my hair. Loved it...would I do it again? Maybe...
• I did shellac nails instead of acrylic. I will never go back. Never.

My 'treat meal' after this show was basically an entire loaf of bread toasted with honey and butter. I wanted sushi...but the show ended late and the sushi place was closed (and closed the next day, too). I also had a burger the next afternoon. 

I was back on prep the following Monday. My next show was in San Jose 3 weeks later, so I had to kick it into high gear. I cut my macros a little further, but kept cardio at around 20 min/day x6 days. With a 9 week prep, I felt a lot more confident with my condition:

 June 27. 2015 San Jose

• Cut calories further (averaging 1500 cal/day)

I re-qualified for NPC USAs at this show (which was my goal). This show was not as well orgainzed as most that I have done...the competitors meeting took 3 hours, my class didn't get on stage for pre-judging until 4, and we didn't get on stage for finals until midnight. I was DEAD. There was a Grateful Dead concert happening all day across the street from the venue, so we didn't get to leave all day and after the show ended, we had to hop to a few different Denny's to find one that didn't have an hour wait (at 2AM...). I got some skillet from Denny's and we drove home (got back at 4AM). 

I took a total break for three days after with Robbie for our anniversary:) We spent a day in Sausalito and then another day in San Francisco and there were LOTS of treats involved. I think we got a big breakfast every morning, burgers and ice cream in Sausalito, and crappy food truck food in San Francisco (not worth it..) and treats for the hotel room. 

I had three more weeks to prep for NPC USAs after that. I planned to drop about 3 pounds, which involved cutting my calories further and altering my cardio regimen. I dropped the weight and came in smaller than I ever have on stage. I actually felt super tiny...not my favorite...but I was lean. Hella lean. 

July 24-25. 2015 NPC USAs

• Curled my hair for the first time: probably not gonna do that again.
• TOTALLY changed my posing...a week before...but the changes were really good, I just need more time to practice.
• Fasted AM cardio 3x/week. LOW intensity 45 min. Fasted AM cardio 2x/week 20 min intervals, 25 min LOW intensity. I actually really enjoyed doing fasted cardio. A lot:)
• Cut macros (averaging 1450 cal/day)

I didn't place or get call-outs at this show. Honestly, it was disappointing...but I brought a better physique to USAs this year than last year, which is what my initial goal was, so I left happy about that. 

Unfortunately, I wasn't as careful with my treats following this show. Over three days I felt like I literally ate everything. We got thai food, cafe rio, and 11-course sushi meal (fun...but not worth it), HUGE breakfast (twice), Serendipity 3 (I would do that again...), burgers and fries, and ice cream...and it's entirely possible that I forgot something. It was a total food fest.

I didn't really hold back after that, either. I've had lower days, but mostly higher days until about 2 weeks ago (I am prepping for a competition...or a photoshoot...time will tell). I pretty much gained all my weight back from before my first show of the season...which wouldn't be a big deal, if I didn't know that the way that I regained it has been unhealthy. 

I was thinking about it earlier this weekend, and even when I was younger I had some issues with overeating and food addiction. I have never been overweight...but largely because I have always been active and somewhat attentive to nutrition. BUT I have also sat at my parents' counter and eaten through 2 packages of graham crackers and a liter of milk in one sitting, I spent one summer as a teen where I literally ate an entire box of mac and cheese every day as one meal, I would make quesadillas...with the whole pack of tortillas...and desserts (mainly at parties) have always been a major trigger for me. 

SO. After dealing with bingeing and some VERY intense feelings of guilt (and feeling phsyically toxic) I decided at the beginning of this week that I am going to kick my food addiction. 

I spent time thinking about how I can do this and came up with a few things:

1. IDENTIFYING TRIGGERS

I don't spend 100% of my day craving food, but there are days when I am in situations that make controlling my cravings much more difficult. For me some of the scenarios that are challenging for me are:

• Watching TV: for some reason this has evolved for me. I haven't always felt the need to eat while watching movies or TV, but at some point food connected to TV for me.
• Family dinner parties: my mom makes AWESOME dinner rolls...that is the 'initial trigger'...dinner parties are usually birthday celebrations, which means there is going to be cake and ice cream (which are wonderful and normal treats to have at parties). I have a tendancy to go for seconds, thirds, fourths, etc... not normal. 
• Invitation to restaurants with friends/family: this isn't always a trigger for me...but certain restaurants are, usually restaurants with really large portions.
• Traveling: I like trying top rated restaurants when I travel...normal. Trying ALL of them...not normal.

2. PLAN OF ATTACK

Life would not be as enjoyable if I were to eliminate my triggers. I enjoy watching movies, spending time with family, eating out, and traveling. If I were to avoid all of those things in order to avoid triggers, I would miss out on a lot of joyful memories that could be made. SO. I am not goint to eliminate my triggers. But, there are other things that can be done to help aleviate the temptations in those trigger scenarios:

• TV: limiting time spent watching TV (right now I am trying to keep it under 4 hrs/week). It is mostly a waste of time, anyhow. An occasional movie is more than enough.
• Family Parties: I have noticed that when I can see the food, it is a lot harder for me to control my portions. My family talks A LOT during dinner and the food is often left sitting on the table while we talk. I will likely need to request some help with this, but at family parties 'out of sight, out of mind' is extremely helpful, as well as putting my plate in the wash, so I can't keep filling it. 
• Restaurants: 1. Budget for eating out. Don't go over budget. 2. Save eating out for special occassions and planned date nights vs. eating out for 'convenience' or for not wanting to cook...it really isn't any more convenient most of the time.
• Traveling: luckily I don't travel too often, but when I do I think keeping to the restaurant guidelines will actually make the biggest difference. Hit up a grocery store and get some easy prep, normal meals...as for airplanes and traveling out of the country: 1. pack oats and protein/protien bars 2. Always fill plate with veggies and protein first (resort/buffet food) 

If I compete, it will be in 5 weeks. I don't want to put too much pressure on myself and go to crazy extremes to be ready, so if I don't feel prepared, I will extend my prep and do a photoshoot instead, and maybe another show, if there happens to be one near-ish when I am feeling ready. I am working on an exit plan from that to stay leaner and increase my calories to maintenance (a little bit higher...for the gainz) after I reach my goal (which is not a time goal, but a physique goal). 

Here is a litte timeline of this year's 'progress':

Weekly Comparison Photos (no, the lighting and angles are not all the same...)

Start of prep. NPC Utah vs. Start of peak week NPC Utah

One month comparison

One month comparison

Start of peak week NPC Utah vs. Start of peak week San Jose

Three month comparison

AND

Now-ish

Finding Balance After a Year of Strict Dieting

 First place open bikini class D, October 2013

I am mostly writing this for myself, because I know that I wont be the first to say this; however, what I say can be a reality for a lot of girls, especially as bikini competitions become more popular.

I have always had a sweet tooth...a raging sweet tooth. Luckily for me, I had an easy enough time controlling it before I started competing. I would usually only have issues with it when I was at a party or social gathering where treats were present, and even then I set limits for myself that I would almost always follow.

My diet wasn't exactly on target, because I was only really focused on eating 'healthy' food and I wasn't eating for calories or for growth (I did a lot of cardio and some bodyweight resistance exercises then...but not as much lifting as I should have been doing).  When I was taking a sports nutrition course for school, we had to do a diet analysis for ourselves. That was the first time that I logged my calories for myself. I was eating meals every two to three hours, but at the end of the day I was only eating around 1200 calories and most of the calories were from carbohydrates (bread...lots of bread). I started to learn more about macronutrient ratios and specifically protein.

I didn't start implementing what I had learned until the summer, but when I did, I noticed some changes. I lost a few pounds that I had gained from eating out too much when I moved to a bigger college town (lots of social events...lots of free 'food'...pizza). I am definitely my own worst critic, so I hated those few extra pounds and I was really hard on myself for gaining them (and I got married, so I wasn't the only one seeing all of my 'flaws' anymore). When I started to lean out a little bit, I was much happier. I was logging my calories and making sure that I was getting enough protein every day, but I wasn't paying attention to the sugar that I was eating...it was coming mostly from fruit sources, but if you haven't heard this already: sugar is sugar is sugar...no matter the source. So I was still a little softer than I wanted, and my abs refused to show.

Last fall, I started lifting a lot more. I started talking to my buddy, who was preparing to do the March 2013 NPC bodybuilding show and the more I talked to him, the more interested I was in doing the show. I knew that I would need a coach for my first show, and after looking around a lot, I found someone that I really liked and I began training. The biggest change was the diet. I was eating a lot more protein and a lot more calories. Because I was eating more, the first few weeks were awesome. I didn't get hungry, but it was also the holiday season so, as before, I struggled at family parties where all of our traditional treats were being served. I leaned out pretty quickly and I felt so good. I had energy and I felt good about the way I looked. I did cheat a few times (really big cheats...think sugar binge), and I always noticed how ill and lethargic I would feel the next day.

After doing 3 competitions throughout the year, I finally placed where I wanted to. I qualified to move on to national shows:) After a long year of very strict dieting, I was ready for a break. I was ready to be able to experiment with my meals a little bit more. I thought it would be easy for me to continue to eat well and maintain a lean figure, while adding muscle. It would be simple. Increase calories a little bit at a time. Gradually decrease cardio. Lift heavier. Grow. 1-2-3. Easy.

Like many things, it has been easier said than done. I get extremely intense cravings for junk food now. Food that I never even liked before. I have been pretty good about staying aware of my cravings, but I have given into them more often than I should. I tell myself that it's okay because I know how to lose it and I have a lot of time before my next competition. The thing is, I have gotten softer than I would like to be from too much sugar in my diet. I am harder on myself than anyone else, but I have a hard time being positive about the way I look, especially when that crappy feeling after eating crappy food is still there. My energy is lower and I am less motivated (even though this is when I really need the motivation). I have found that after competing I have a harder time choosing healthy food to satisfy my hunger. It is a lot harder for me to look at food for it's micronutrients and health benefits. It seems like the first thing to cross my mind is simply, 'how many calories does it have, and how will it affect my macros today?'.

I have been experimenting with my diet a lot during the past month and a half. I don't have much trouble with keeping it clean at this point, but I am now trying to find a balance that makes me happy. I wanted to do all paleo (and I still really do). I realized that until I have established something clean that I can maintain, paleo is a bit too drastic for me right now, though. My house is void of treats, so I really just need to focus a little bit more on my self-control at the parties, now;)

I took the overall for the open bikini division October 2013

If It Fits Your Macros: IIFYM

IIFYM is becoming more and more popular in the fitness world. The IIFYM diet is pretty simple. Eat the right amount of calories in combination with the proper ratios of carbohydrates, proteins, and fats.

The appealing thing about IIFYM is that it allows you to indulge in some of the foods you love. If you are planning to go out with your friends for pizza you can track the carbs, proteins, and fats from your pizza and eat the rest of your meals to keep your macro ratios balanced for the day! AND while you live a little, you can look good...and when I say that, I mean it is possible to maintain the nice abs and toned body that you work so hard for.

SO. How many calories should you be eating? It varies from person to person. One of the best ways to find out how much you should be eating is to experiment. The first place I would start is with your BASAL METABOLIC RATE. Don't go below that number. In fact, you should generally be at least a couple hundred calories above that number (this does depend on your circumstances...hiring a knowledgeable trainer or coach ;) will help you to really dial in on the details). 

Next, what should your macro ratios be? Again, this will vary from person to person, and I repeat that the best way to find out what works for you is to experiment. I like to start people off with a 50% carbohydrate, 30% protein, and 20% fat ratio.

What?! You don't like math? Well, my friends...there is an app (website) for that:) and it's free. I use it myself to track what I am eating and it has a really cool feature that breaks your macros into a really pretty little pie chart for you:) 

If you think this is something that has potential for you, I hope that my tips can help! 

Pumpkin Pancakes with Creamy Chocolate Spread

These make a yummy breakfast (or treat, if you have cravings like I do)! I will be sure to post a picture another time...I ate them up too quickly to snap one this morning;)

Pancakes
1/3 cup old fashioned oatmeal
1 scoop protein powder
1 large egg
1/3 cup pumpkin puree
1 tsp pumpkin pie spice
~4 tbs water to thin batter

Creamy Chocolate Spread
1/4 cup fat free cottage cheese
1 tbs raw cacao powder
1 packet stevia powder

1 Serving (full recipe/6 pancakes):
Calories: 411
Carb: 35.7 g
Protein: 45.3 g
Fat: 9.7 g

Blend pancake ingredients. Melt coconut oil on a frying pan and let the pan get hot on a medium heat setting. Pour and fry each side of your pancakes. Blend spread ingredients until smooth and top your pancakes:) Yum!!!

CABO CABO CABO: Preparing for Travel

I have not been much of a traveler in the past, but my husband's job has given us a few opportunities to visit new places:) Last year we went to Jamaica and it was fun, but the trip was A LOT more laid back than I had hoped. No workout. No diet. Pretty much the healthiest part of the trip was the sunshine...

So, this year it's going to be different. We are going to Cabo San Lucas:) I am not counting on being able to do a heavy set of squats or lying leg curls during the trip, but this time around I am going to be a little bit more careful with my diet:) I do plan on letting myself enjoy a treat or two, the trip being two days post-contest, but the whole trip should not be made up of treats.

There is no reason I should ruin what could be an amazing trip by making my belly bulge until I'm too bloated and embarrassed to appear on the beach.

I haven't planned everything yet, since I still have nearly two months before the trip...but I am thinking about it. So far, I know I am going to pack some oats and protein powder for snacks between my meals:) And, because I know what a plate should look like in a balanced diet, I plan to make sure it looks balanced when we are having exotic meals:)

Vacations are for relaxing, having fun, and feeling good. I want ALL of those. And that means keeping my belly happy:) Preparedness is key when it comes to diet.

Strawberry Valentine Protein Waffles

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day, which is notorious for sweet treats and lots of cheats. My sister asked me for a recipe for a healthy treat to share with her roommates tomorrow, and I came up with this waffle recipe. It isn't a chocolate or a cookie, but it is easy and tasty...and healthy:)

Strawberry Valentine Waffle
1 Waffle

1/3 cup Old Fashioned Oatmeal flour (26 g...blend into flour)
2 egg whites
2 Tbs Fat free, plain Greek yogurt (40 g)
2 Medium strawberries (60 g)
1/2 Scoop strawberry or vanilla protein powder
1/4 tsp Baking powder
1 tsp Stevia


4 Waffles

1 1/3 cup Old fashioned oatmeal flour (104 g)
8 egg white
8 Tbs Fat-free, plain Greek yogurt
8 Medium strawberries (240 g)
2 Scoops strawberry or vanilla protein powder
1 tsp Baking powder
4 tsp Stevia

Serving Size: 1 Waffle
Cal.: 280
Carbs: 32 g
Sugar: 6 g
Fat: 3 g
Sat. Fat: 1 g
Protein:  32 g

Happy Valentine's Day!

Peanut Butter-Jelly Time...

Everyone has a favorite food item...well, mostly everyone, right? I have mine. It probably changes sometimes, but for the past few months I have been seriously in love with peanut butter (and other peanut products). I love it. Love, love, love it. I ate a few giant Costco tubs of roasted and salted peanuts last summer (shame on me...). I think maybe the overload came from my previous deprivation. My husband is allergic to peanuts, so I had not eaten much (if any) peanut products for about a year. Obviously, my husband wasn't sneaking them, so I have to take full credit for eating all the peanuts. Unfortunately, eating all those peanuts may very well have been a contributing factor to not reaching my goal of getting as lean as I wanted to.

I think this can happen with any food. When you restrict something you love (or like)too much, it can come back and bite you in the butt. It all comes down to moderation. It probably comes up a lot when referring to nutrition and a balanced diet for a reason. Moderation works. Have the little bit of treat that you need to satisfy your craving, but don't gorge yourself. A little piece of brownie every once in a while wont ruin you; although, a little piece of brownie every day might. Keep realistic portion sizes (and when it comes to brownies...very small...you only need to taste it, really).

Save treats for special occasions. Allow yourself to have it when the occasion arises. Family and close friends' birthday parties. Holidays (careful). Graduation. Passing a big test with an A (assuming you don't have tests every day). This will put your treats into a treats category, rather than putting them in a 'daily dose' category. Little changes like that can make a big difference.

Pay attention to where your cravings are really coming from. How much water have you been drinking? You might only be thirsty (3 L every day...at least!!!). Are you a woman? Is it your time of month (seriously, men. You have no idea how much that can really make a difference.)? How many carbs have you eaten already during the day (because sugar tends to be the biggest problem...lack of carbs = sugar cravings)? Are you experiencing more stress than usual? Keep a broad perspective. Ask yourself why you really want to eat. Make sure it is because you are hungry. Taking time to plan your meals and eating meals every few hours will help to prevent cravings (and encourage weight loss).

I'm going to continue to have my peanut butter (in moderation and with planning), but I have made the choices necessary to keep from eating the entire tub in one sitting (that is not an exaggeration). If you mess up, keep trying. eventually you will get it!