DIETARY FREEDOM.

Here I am again. Not ready for the contest that is in a few short weeks...but you know what? IGAF (indirect translation: I don't give a hoot...) As I mentioned in my last post, I am totally happy with my body and my diet for maybe the first time in my life.

It is so incredibly freeing to feel like food doesn't control me. Do I have a six-pack? Well, yes...but you can't see it. And I am cool with it...because I feel really healthy. I have energy. I get to enjoy eating with friends and family. I don't feel like I have to say no to treats. I don't schedule my meals to be every two hours...because my life is not scheduled in 2 hour increments. My meals actually feel like meals...which is actually far more satiating, regardless of calories.

Does that mean I eat whatever and whenever I want to? Nope. Sometimes I still say no to treats because I still have goals. I listen to my body better and I know pretty well what foods I should avoid...because, even though I don't think anyone should label foods as 'good' or 'bad' foods...there are foods that are bad FOR ME.

Trigger foods. Foods that are catalysts to bad dietary decisions. Foods that trigger an emotional response (that for me can turn very quickly into binging).  I try to be careful with those foods. I do my best not to indulge in them if I am having a bad day.  They are foods that I probably shouldn't keep in my house (but I am human...and sometimes I fall prey to the temptation...or I shop hungry and I make more unhealthy decisions).  Trigger foods are not the same for everyone.

Food is not the enemy. Food is a thing. Food is food. Sometimes fuel for just living day to day. Sometimes fuel for intense exercise. Sometimes fuel for the soul. 

I work with men and women who somewhere along the line developed a misunderstanding of what food is and what it can do FOR them. Eating has been so demonized in so many ways. 'Too much fat will make you fat'. 'Sugar will give you diabetes'. 'Bread is bad for you'. 'GMO will give you cancer'. 'If you can't pronounce the ingredient, don't eat it'. BLAH BLAH BLAH. It is CONFUSING.

Nutrition does not need to be confusing. YES. There is some validity in many of those statements...but people don't know why or under what circumstances the statements are valid...so starts the pattern of eating no fat, no sugar, no bread, no gmo food, nothing processed, and whatever other stupid thing that is trending. If you cut those things out...what is left? Ah. You have the internet's permission to drink water. ALLLL the water.  And veggies. And grass fed-free range meat. Unless you are 'ethical'. Then no meat...#vegan #whatthehealth (ALSO BULLSHIT). SO veggies and water #ftw.

Good luck ever feeling satisfied...or remotely happy when all you tell yourself you should be eating is cardboard washed down with a glass of water. GUYS YOU CAN'T DO THIS...seriously. What happens on the weekends after you've managed to stick to it all week? You eat every single thing. EVERY. SINGLE. THING. And then you feel guilt. And so you smother the feeling by eating more. RIGHT? But Monday rolls around and you can 'be good' again. THIS IS NOT DIETARY FREEDOM. It is a prison and the guards look a lot like a box of doughnuts.

And you know what? I have fallen for nearly [every. single. one.] of these trends. I have tried them all. And there are things that I have learned from trying them. BUT none of them worked. ZERO of them offered me the balance that I needed to have dietary freedom. I never felt in control of food or my ability to choose, until I let go of the 'rules'.

The only rule I have now is this: I DECIDE TO EAT. I decide to eat fresh veggies. I decide to eat fruit. I decide to drink soda. I decide to eat cookies. I decide to eat ice cream. I decide to have a diet soda. WHATEVER. As long as I am aware of my choices and take two seconds to be mindful about my choices I HAVE THE CONTROL. And I choose better. And sometimes I choose to feel a little extra full because I went out and had a burger and it put my calories up by 500 or whatever. IT WAS MY CHOICE. It might slow down some weight loss...I might even gain a pound (but I will know that before making the decision...and I know that I have nobody and nothing to blame for enjoying myself...and I can always choose to eat half of the burger or get no burger and visit...because I DECIDE).

This is how I approach nutrition with my clients. NO QUICK FIX.  I want my clients to learn how to adjust perspectives and trust that they know themselves better than anyone else ever will.  Dietary guidance is secondary.

If you want to change, you have to believe that you have the ability to change and be empowered to take control of the one thing you can...YOUR CHOICES.


I will do an actual contest prep update sometime...because it's still a goal;) Just not one that I am willing to sacrifice balance and happiness for.

Before, After, After-after...

*Preface*
This will be a long post, but it's an overview of what this whole season has been like for me:) If you want to know anything else about the season, ask! I am sure I'll left things out:)

I've been a little bit MIA lately. On top of competition prep(s), I started a new job a few months ago and have also been in the process of buying a home with my husband...all in all, my brain and priorities have been elsewhere. But, I thought I would throw out a new post:) Just a little updater:

I FINALLY got myself into a good place to be in competition prep around the middle of April; however, it turned out to be a bit of a crunch when my eight week prep turned into a six-week prep (I thought my show was going to be later than it actually was). This turned out to be the shortest prep I have ever done. It was a little bit stressful, but I managed to get on stage feeling pretty good, especially for such a short prep:

June 6. 2015 NPC Utah

This was definitely the least conditioned I have been for a show, but I placed and it turned out to be a good 'warm up' show for the rest of the summer. A few things that were different during this prep:

• no more than 20 minutes/day x5 days of cardio (and really, that much was probably only the last three weeks or so)
• lower caloric intake (averaging 1600/day)
• I spent A LOT of money on my hair. Loved it...would I do it again? Maybe...
• I did shellac nails instead of acrylic. I will never go back. Never.

My 'treat meal' after this show was basically an entire loaf of bread toasted with honey and butter. I wanted sushi...but the show ended late and the sushi place was closed (and closed the next day, too). I also had a burger the next afternoon. 

I was back on prep the following Monday. My next show was in San Jose 3 weeks later, so I had to kick it into high gear. I cut my macros a little further, but kept cardio at around 20 min/day x6 days. With a 9 week prep, I felt a lot more confident with my condition:

 June 27. 2015 San Jose

• Cut calories further (averaging 1500 cal/day)

I re-qualified for NPC USAs at this show (which was my goal). This show was not as well orgainzed as most that I have done...the competitors meeting took 3 hours, my class didn't get on stage for pre-judging until 4, and we didn't get on stage for finals until midnight. I was DEAD. There was a Grateful Dead concert happening all day across the street from the venue, so we didn't get to leave all day and after the show ended, we had to hop to a few different Denny's to find one that didn't have an hour wait (at 2AM...). I got some skillet from Denny's and we drove home (got back at 4AM). 

I took a total break for three days after with Robbie for our anniversary:) We spent a day in Sausalito and then another day in San Francisco and there were LOTS of treats involved. I think we got a big breakfast every morning, burgers and ice cream in Sausalito, and crappy food truck food in San Francisco (not worth it..) and treats for the hotel room. 

I had three more weeks to prep for NPC USAs after that. I planned to drop about 3 pounds, which involved cutting my calories further and altering my cardio regimen. I dropped the weight and came in smaller than I ever have on stage. I actually felt super tiny...not my favorite...but I was lean. Hella lean. 

July 24-25. 2015 NPC USAs

• Curled my hair for the first time: probably not gonna do that again.
• TOTALLY changed my posing...a week before...but the changes were really good, I just need more time to practice.
• Fasted AM cardio 3x/week. LOW intensity 45 min. Fasted AM cardio 2x/week 20 min intervals, 25 min LOW intensity. I actually really enjoyed doing fasted cardio. A lot:)
• Cut macros (averaging 1450 cal/day)

I didn't place or get call-outs at this show. Honestly, it was disappointing...but I brought a better physique to USAs this year than last year, which is what my initial goal was, so I left happy about that. 

Unfortunately, I wasn't as careful with my treats following this show. Over three days I felt like I literally ate everything. We got thai food, cafe rio, and 11-course sushi meal (fun...but not worth it), HUGE breakfast (twice), Serendipity 3 (I would do that again...), burgers and fries, and ice cream...and it's entirely possible that I forgot something. It was a total food fest.

I didn't really hold back after that, either. I've had lower days, but mostly higher days until about 2 weeks ago (I am prepping for a competition...or a photoshoot...time will tell). I pretty much gained all my weight back from before my first show of the season...which wouldn't be a big deal, if I didn't know that the way that I regained it has been unhealthy. 

I was thinking about it earlier this weekend, and even when I was younger I had some issues with overeating and food addiction. I have never been overweight...but largely because I have always been active and somewhat attentive to nutrition. BUT I have also sat at my parents' counter and eaten through 2 packages of graham crackers and a liter of milk in one sitting, I spent one summer as a teen where I literally ate an entire box of mac and cheese every day as one meal, I would make quesadillas...with the whole pack of tortillas...and desserts (mainly at parties) have always been a major trigger for me. 

SO. After dealing with bingeing and some VERY intense feelings of guilt (and feeling phsyically toxic) I decided at the beginning of this week that I am going to kick my food addiction. 

I spent time thinking about how I can do this and came up with a few things:

1. IDENTIFYING TRIGGERS

I don't spend 100% of my day craving food, but there are days when I am in situations that make controlling my cravings much more difficult. For me some of the scenarios that are challenging for me are:

• Watching TV: for some reason this has evolved for me. I haven't always felt the need to eat while watching movies or TV, but at some point food connected to TV for me.
• Family dinner parties: my mom makes AWESOME dinner rolls...that is the 'initial trigger'...dinner parties are usually birthday celebrations, which means there is going to be cake and ice cream (which are wonderful and normal treats to have at parties). I have a tendancy to go for seconds, thirds, fourths, etc... not normal. 
• Invitation to restaurants with friends/family: this isn't always a trigger for me...but certain restaurants are, usually restaurants with really large portions.
• Traveling: I like trying top rated restaurants when I travel...normal. Trying ALL of them...not normal.

2. PLAN OF ATTACK

Life would not be as enjoyable if I were to eliminate my triggers. I enjoy watching movies, spending time with family, eating out, and traveling. If I were to avoid all of those things in order to avoid triggers, I would miss out on a lot of joyful memories that could be made. SO. I am not goint to eliminate my triggers. But, there are other things that can be done to help aleviate the temptations in those trigger scenarios:

• TV: limiting time spent watching TV (right now I am trying to keep it under 4 hrs/week). It is mostly a waste of time, anyhow. An occasional movie is more than enough.
• Family Parties: I have noticed that when I can see the food, it is a lot harder for me to control my portions. My family talks A LOT during dinner and the food is often left sitting on the table while we talk. I will likely need to request some help with this, but at family parties 'out of sight, out of mind' is extremely helpful, as well as putting my plate in the wash, so I can't keep filling it. 
• Restaurants: 1. Budget for eating out. Don't go over budget. 2. Save eating out for special occassions and planned date nights vs. eating out for 'convenience' or for not wanting to cook...it really isn't any more convenient most of the time.
• Traveling: luckily I don't travel too often, but when I do I think keeping to the restaurant guidelines will actually make the biggest difference. Hit up a grocery store and get some easy prep, normal meals...as for airplanes and traveling out of the country: 1. pack oats and protein/protien bars 2. Always fill plate with veggies and protein first (resort/buffet food) 

If I compete, it will be in 5 weeks. I don't want to put too much pressure on myself and go to crazy extremes to be ready, so if I don't feel prepared, I will extend my prep and do a photoshoot instead, and maybe another show, if there happens to be one near-ish when I am feeling ready. I am working on an exit plan from that to stay leaner and increase my calories to maintenance (a little bit higher...for the gainz) after I reach my goal (which is not a time goal, but a physique goal). 

Here is a litte timeline of this year's 'progress':

Weekly Comparison Photos (no, the lighting and angles are not all the same...)

Start of prep. NPC Utah vs. Start of peak week NPC Utah

One month comparison

One month comparison

Start of peak week NPC Utah vs. Start of peak week San Jose

Three month comparison

AND

Now-ish

Stress, Boredom, and Emotional Eating.

I have realized over the past year that I am not the exception to emotional eating. I used to be one who would NOT eat when I was feeling upset, but since I started competing, food has become more of a comfort to me when I am feeling low than ever before. There are lots of days that I feel like I am very close to being in full-blown disordered eating (eating disorders are not exclusive to a caloric defecit or purging...binge eating is also considered disordered eating).

After my last show, this has been the biggest challenge for me. I binge...and when I binge I binge like there is no tomorrow. I eat until I feel ill, and then I eat more. I am not entirely sure why I do it, but I am completely aware of it from the second the binge starts. I know what I am doing. I want to stop, but I can't. It has been almost 8 months since I was on stage, and for probably 2-3 months I was close to 20 lb. over my stage weight. NOT a healthy 20 lb. More like a 'I'm gonna eat straight junk (whole packages of oreos, party size bags of tootsie pops, tootsie rolls, and dots, whole boxes of pop tarts, etc.). And I have not felt good about myself. I have been uncomfortable in my clothes and in my own skin.

I do consider myself lucky to have only peaked at 20 lb. over stage weight with the way I was eating (but in a way I would attribute it not entirely to luck, but partially to awareness and knowledge...and guilt...). If I were not aware of the damage I was doing and let it take complete control of me, I would be far worse off. I don't feel like I have completely destroyed my metabolic capacity (although, leaning out has already proven to be more difficult this year than last). For this, I really think I am lucky.

Over the past couple of months I have started to come to the realization that a lot of my binges came from emotional stresses and boredom: a very poisonous combination. I get stressed and then I have too much time to wallow in my stresses...and fill them with comfort food. And it works...until the next morning when I wake up and regret what I did...by midafternoon the cycle is in repeat because the guilt and regret only adds to the stress that was already there. It takes an immense amount of energy to battle the desire to turn to comfort food...and sometimes I actually do put in the effort. And sometimes I don't.

I was planning on blogging and vlogging my contest prep leading up to a competition that was only two days ago. I gave up. I let myself binge too many times, and then I let myself believe that I couldn't do it. I went to watch the show to support some friends who were competing, and it was a blast! But, I wasn't on stage...and really, I am okay with it. I want to make sure that I am really ready to start preparing for a competition before I commit to one. I want to make sure that I feel mentally ready even more than I might feel physically ready.

I think I am getting close, but there are days that just hammer me. They make me feel like giving up and just letting everything crash. Today has been one of those days. I am physically and emotionally exhausted. I keep thinking about the bottle of jelly beans in my car trunk...but I want to be strong today, so I decided to write a post. One that I am sure many people can relate to...or at least that is what I want to believe.

If there is any real advice I think I could offer to anyone who might be faced with the challenge of binging or emotional eating, it would be this: don't try to do it alone. Talk to a friend or a counselor about it. Talk to me about it :) I am happy to share my experiences :)

So, You Want to Be a Bikini Competitor?

Since my first show in March 2013, I have learned a few things about competing. There are A LOT of little things to consider if you are thinking about preparing for a competition. I thought I would share some of the things that I have found helpful for me:)

Deciding to Compete:

1. How much money are you willing to spend? Competition preps can be VERY expensive. You can easily spend $1-5K on a single prep. Make sure you can budget for the costs!

2. Are you going to hire a coach? For your first competition, you will probably benefit from hiring someone to help you with your nutrition, building a good physique, and posing...not to mention having someone to be accountable to and to reassure you is always nice:) BUT don't just hire anyone. Just because someone looks good or has a lot of clients, does not mean that they are the best choice. If you are not careful with who you hire, you may find that your metabolism can face being seriously damaged. You don't need to eat fish and broccoli five times a day and you shouldn't need two hours of cardio to get lean enough. Try to find a coach that will work with you individually. Don't pay for a print-out coach. (If you are interested, I do training and competition preps...message me!)

3. Do you have a specific competition in mind? If you have your eye on a specific date and competition, make sure that it is realistic to prepare for a competition in the time frame you are setting up. Ask your coach what they think. It will depend on where you are starting. Be open to extending your prep to do a later show.

4. How does your family feel about your decision? Maybe I should have listed this first...but there isn't really a specific order to any of it...haha. I am married and before I made any solid decisions I made sure that my husband was okay with the idea. Stepping on stage in a glammy little bikini and posing to show off your butt for a full audience might not sound like the most appealing thing for a significant other. Be sure that the people who matter most are okay with what your doing. In my case, that was ME and my husband. Evaluate your reasons for competing. Write them down. It's important for you to know why you want to compete, too.

Preparing for a Competition:

1. Food: 

• Preparing: You don't have to eat the same thing every day, if you plan accordingly; however, some people choose to have a routine diet during a prep. Either way, there are probably going to be a few items in your meal plan that you will rely on pretty regularly. Meats, rice, pasta, etc. I like to prepare these foods in bulk a couple of days during the week to save time and to keep my healthy meals 'convenient'. I also like to cut up my vegetables at the beginning of the week to save some time but still have freshly prepared meals. Oh, and BUY A FOOD SCALE AND USE IT.
• Packing: I pack a lot of my meals in tupperware. Sometimes I will measure out every meal into a separate container, but I generally like to pack all of my chicken/rice/sweet potato, etc. into one conatiner and measure it out when I am going to eat it (this doesn't work as well if you are out of the house a lot...I would recommend splitting your meals in that case). I don't like to pack my food with me everywhere I go. If I am going to be gone for an extended period, I will pack my meal that is planned during that time and the next (just in case). I do this more to help prevent hunger cravings (and being grumpy) than for timing factors. I have a cooler bag that I can load with tupperware, ziploc baggie meals, and ice packs...you can get a standard lunch box or cooler from walmart or target...if it keeps  your food cool, it doesn't have to have a name brand on it. 
• Packing while Traveling: This can be really important. A lot of shows you are going to need to travel to. I pack EVERYTHING in ziploc baggies while I am traveling. Individual meals in sandwhich bags, full day of sandwhich bags in a ziploc bag labeled for the day. I do this to save space. You can pack a weeks worth of meals in a carry-on this way. If you are flying with food: if it's solid, you can take it on. Nut butters=no...unless you buy the serving size packets (which is what I do). Jelly, creamy, liquid...it's probably safer to buy it when you get there (or use an alternative food). 
• CRAVINGS: This was HUGE for me. I have always had a pretty wicked sweet tooth, but until I started competing, there were certain sweets and junk foods that I never craved. I didn't even like them for that matter...NOW, this is why I say it's important to find a coach that will work with YOU. At one point, I literally ate the same thing EVERY DAY for 3 months straight. If you don't start craving every other food after that, then you are probably a freak ;) Hahaha...but really. It took some time and education, but I finally learned that I don't have to restrict my diet like I did to reach my goals. I can get lean and eat pretty much ANYTHING I want (yes, there is a slight catch to that...portion size...etc.). There are not 'good' and 'bad' foods. Food is food...there are only choices about what food you eat :) You can do a competition and avoid insane cravings (you wont avoid hunger...you are eating less than you burn. You will be hungry). You can avoid cravings.
• Supplements: The most important supplements that I took were vitamins. Supplements aren't magic pills that are going to melt your fat away. Most of them are loaded with stimulants (caffeine).  A fat burner is not going to burn your fat. Don't let anyone tell you it will. Supplements are meant to SUPPLEMNENT your diet. When in a caloric deficit it can be difficult to get all of your micronutrients (vitamins and minerals)...but otherwise, you aren't going to get anywhere much faster by spending a paycheck on supplements.

2. Packing:

• Bikini (and a spare...if you can)
• Heels 
• Hair product
• Shampoo 
• Conditioner
• Hairspray
• Dry shampoo
• Heat protection anything
• Shower Gel
• Exfoliant
• Toothbrush
• Toothpaste
• Hairbrush
• Comb for backstage bag
• Safety pins for backstage bag
• Cramping pills
• Hygiene products
• Old sheets
• Jewelry for backstage bag (SUPER BLING)
• Makeup
• Dark foundation to match your tan
• Dramatic eyeshadow
• Falsies
• Mascara
• Eyeliner
• Lipstick
• Darker blush
• Coverup Robe/dress/pants and tshirt
• Hair clip (keep hair back for makeup)
• Floss
• Latex gloves
• SOLO cups (a couple for backstage bag)
• Toilet seat covers
• Shower Cap (for tanning)
• Blanket and pillow (backstage)
• Touch up Tissues (backstage)
• Straws
• Clothes for post-show (backstage bag)
• Other clothes if you are traveling (although from the day before until after finals, I choose to basically live in my cover-up)
• Flip-flops
• Headphones/ipod(backstage)

3. Makeup: You can hire someone to do your makeup, a lot of girls do. I do my own:) I had no clue what I was doing when I started...but that is the magic of youtube! I watched video after video and tried a few times on my own (the first few attempts were a mess...but it got better, so don't give up). A few tips for makeup: 

• Foundation should be pretty close to matching your tan...so it needs to be DARK (I have heard a few times that a shade or two lighter than your tan is okay...but not your natural color. TRUST ME). Also, your face should be matte. If you have any shimmer or shine on your face. Make sure you pull the foundation down your neck so everything blends!
• Eyeshadow should be SUPER dramatic. You will feel a little ridiculous...like a drag queen (a beautiful drag queen)...but everything on stage gets washed out under the lights, so DRAMATIC IS GOOD!
• Don't go too heavy on the false lashes...something to add a little volume, but if they are too long and thick they will cast shadows on your face and your eyes will turn into black holes...not pretty.
• Contour a bit, but don't highlight...the lights will do that for you. 
• Pick a dramatic lip color. Something darker or brighter than what you might typically wear. I love dark tones:) Plums and red/browns...beautiful.
• BLEND. Blend everything so that it has a nice transition...it will help it look natural:)

4. Tan: Tanning is fun...haha. Before you spray tan you need to EXFOLIATE and DRY YOUR SKIN OUT (really as dry as you can get it...to absorb the spray tan). Stop tanning beds and lotions at the beginning of the week (water retention and moisture...). SHAVE/WAX EVERYTHING before you tan. No deodorants or anything on your skin before you tan (or until after the show...it will mess up your tan) ...go in clean and dry everywhere. You can tan at home...but I have always had someone else do my tan. A regular spray tan will not work. Don't go to a commercial place for a spray tan. I have used ProTan in the past, and it has been a good color for me. I have also heard good things about LiquidSunRayz, and JanTana (although, I have heard some bad things about JanTana, too). Your show will likely have a tanning sponsor that will be at check-ins to do tans...take advantage of that, if you don't have something else set up. It will be more expensive than buying a bottle and doing it yourself, but it will look better. You tan naked. 100% in the buff. You will probably be naked in a room with a few other naked women. Luckily, you are all looking amazing so there isn't any reason to feel weird...well, fewer reasons. Wear a shower cap to protect your hair from the spray tan. Don't spray your face. Drying off will be cold (you will be lean and wet and standing in front of a fan). ProTan develops, so it will be darker the next morning. Wear something loose and light to leave the tan (nothing to leave lines in your tan...like undies...let everything breathe tonight;)) Sleep on old sheets if you don't want to get tan on yours! (if you are staying in a hotel they will make you pay if you get tan on theirs...take an old set to sleep on). I like to sleep nakey to avoid any creases...but you can sleep in something baggy and light to protect your tan, too. Cut the bottom off of a SOLO cup. Pee in that to protect your tan from getting splatter stains. The judges CAN see it. Seat covers are smart if you are staying in a hotel or sharing a toilet with a non-tanned person (bought mine at Bed Bath and Beyond for $1/5 pack).  

5. Oil and Bikini Bite: Have someone else do this for you backstage about 15 minutes before you go on...earlier if the lines are long. Tanning girls are usually willing, but have a backup because they get busy. Bikini bite is for gluing your suit in place:) it's the best. Once you have bite on, you pretty much don't want to sit...or bend over...or anything that might pull the glue off (and the tan in the places it was glued)...so go pee BEFORE you get your bite, if you need to.

6. Nails  I get my nails done a few days before the show. You can also buy glue-ons...Be a little conservative here, if it's too distracting, the judges probably wont like it.

7. Hair: Another service you can pay for...or do on your own. I have done my hair straight for all of my shows. It it a better style for me, but if you can do it yourself, go for it. I would suggest leaving your hair down and don't put any accessories in your hair. Your hair is an accessory to your body. 

8. Bikini/Posing Suit: Well, this is important. You can spend a fortune on a suit (think thousands...for some girls). You can....but you don't have to. Blinged-out suits are growing in popularity, but for a first competition shiny or sequined fabric is fine. Something 'glitzy' for the stage is good, but not worth selling your car to have. I have started making my own suits. It's easy enough. You can usually find someone locally who can make one for less, too. You can stone your own suit! Swarovski crystals are pretty pricey, but you can buy a few and glue them on yourself:) Save a few bucks:) Otherwise, plan on spending around $200 for an 'inexpensive' suit. $300-400 for a more sparkly one (conservative side of the estimates...definitely not the high end). If it looks good on you...wear it again. Wear it again and again and again (until it falls apart or for some reason doesn't look good on you anymore...haha). 

9. Shoes (and posing): Your heels should be clear, but they can have colorless gems on them. The heigth of the heel matters. My first pair had too much platform and threw off my proportions on stage. 4" heels are pretty standard. Some girls like ankle straps...I don't. You can walk just as easily in either...it's just a preference thing. Practice walking in them. Practice while you prep your food...practice in front of a mirror. PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE. Stage presence is everything. I already said this, but get a coach to help you with your posing. Watch some videos online, too. Add your own little flair, show your personality. Have fun:) oh...and PRACTICE ;)

9. Backstage: You will have to wait at some point. You will have nothing to do...so prepare. Bring your music or a book or someone to talk to. You should have packed a blanket to sit on and a pillow. Kick your feet up and relax. Don't walk around a lot. You will be tired from posing alone at the end of the day. Just CHILL. Eat your food. Keep SOLO cups handy. Touch up your makeup before going on stage if you need to. MAKE NEW FRIENDS (seriously...don't be the bi*** who doesn't talk to anyone...that isn't any fun). Put your jewelry on...practice a couple of rounds of posing (just a couple). Bikini bite and oil. They will line you up (by number/height class/division) when it is time...when that happens, put a smile on and strut your stuff! 

I am sure there are plenty of other things that I am forgetting, so if anyone has any questions, feel free to hit me up on FB or comment below :) Good luck, ladies! I hope this helped!

'No Bake' Oatmeal

I have been eating the same thing every morning for breakfast for about two weeks...simply because it is absolutely delicious. And super quick and easy:) It's a simple oatmeal recipe that will satisfy your sweet and chocolate cravings:) It tastes like no bake cookies!

'No Bake' Oatmeal

3/4 cup Old fashioned oatmeal
1.5 scoop ISO 100 whey chocolate protein powder
1 Tbs Chocolate PB2

Add water to the oatmeal and microwave to cook (about 90 seconds). Mix in protein powder and PB2. I like to add a little bit of unsweetened almond milk if it is too hot :) Yum Yum! Try it out!

Finding Balance After a Year of Strict Dieting

 First place open bikini class D, October 2013

I am mostly writing this for myself, because I know that I wont be the first to say this; however, what I say can be a reality for a lot of girls, especially as bikini competitions become more popular.

I have always had a sweet tooth...a raging sweet tooth. Luckily for me, I had an easy enough time controlling it before I started competing. I would usually only have issues with it when I was at a party or social gathering where treats were present, and even then I set limits for myself that I would almost always follow.

My diet wasn't exactly on target, because I was only really focused on eating 'healthy' food and I wasn't eating for calories or for growth (I did a lot of cardio and some bodyweight resistance exercises then...but not as much lifting as I should have been doing).  When I was taking a sports nutrition course for school, we had to do a diet analysis for ourselves. That was the first time that I logged my calories for myself. I was eating meals every two to three hours, but at the end of the day I was only eating around 1200 calories and most of the calories were from carbohydrates (bread...lots of bread). I started to learn more about macronutrient ratios and specifically protein.

I didn't start implementing what I had learned until the summer, but when I did, I noticed some changes. I lost a few pounds that I had gained from eating out too much when I moved to a bigger college town (lots of social events...lots of free 'food'...pizza). I am definitely my own worst critic, so I hated those few extra pounds and I was really hard on myself for gaining them (and I got married, so I wasn't the only one seeing all of my 'flaws' anymore). When I started to lean out a little bit, I was much happier. I was logging my calories and making sure that I was getting enough protein every day, but I wasn't paying attention to the sugar that I was eating...it was coming mostly from fruit sources, but if you haven't heard this already: sugar is sugar is sugar...no matter the source. So I was still a little softer than I wanted, and my abs refused to show.

Last fall, I started lifting a lot more. I started talking to my buddy, who was preparing to do the March 2013 NPC bodybuilding show and the more I talked to him, the more interested I was in doing the show. I knew that I would need a coach for my first show, and after looking around a lot, I found someone that I really liked and I began training. The biggest change was the diet. I was eating a lot more protein and a lot more calories. Because I was eating more, the first few weeks were awesome. I didn't get hungry, but it was also the holiday season so, as before, I struggled at family parties where all of our traditional treats were being served. I leaned out pretty quickly and I felt so good. I had energy and I felt good about the way I looked. I did cheat a few times (really big cheats...think sugar binge), and I always noticed how ill and lethargic I would feel the next day.

After doing 3 competitions throughout the year, I finally placed where I wanted to. I qualified to move on to national shows:) After a long year of very strict dieting, I was ready for a break. I was ready to be able to experiment with my meals a little bit more. I thought it would be easy for me to continue to eat well and maintain a lean figure, while adding muscle. It would be simple. Increase calories a little bit at a time. Gradually decrease cardio. Lift heavier. Grow. 1-2-3. Easy.

Like many things, it has been easier said than done. I get extremely intense cravings for junk food now. Food that I never even liked before. I have been pretty good about staying aware of my cravings, but I have given into them more often than I should. I tell myself that it's okay because I know how to lose it and I have a lot of time before my next competition. The thing is, I have gotten softer than I would like to be from too much sugar in my diet. I am harder on myself than anyone else, but I have a hard time being positive about the way I look, especially when that crappy feeling after eating crappy food is still there. My energy is lower and I am less motivated (even though this is when I really need the motivation). I have found that after competing I have a harder time choosing healthy food to satisfy my hunger. It is a lot harder for me to look at food for it's micronutrients and health benefits. It seems like the first thing to cross my mind is simply, 'how many calories does it have, and how will it affect my macros today?'.

I have been experimenting with my diet a lot during the past month and a half. I don't have much trouble with keeping it clean at this point, but I am now trying to find a balance that makes me happy. I wanted to do all paleo (and I still really do). I realized that until I have established something clean that I can maintain, paleo is a bit too drastic for me right now, though. My house is void of treats, so I really just need to focus a little bit more on my self-control at the parties, now;)

I took the overall for the open bikini division October 2013

If It Fits Your Macros: IIFYM

IIFYM is becoming more and more popular in the fitness world. The IIFYM diet is pretty simple. Eat the right amount of calories in combination with the proper ratios of carbohydrates, proteins, and fats.

The appealing thing about IIFYM is that it allows you to indulge in some of the foods you love. If you are planning to go out with your friends for pizza you can track the carbs, proteins, and fats from your pizza and eat the rest of your meals to keep your macro ratios balanced for the day! AND while you live a little, you can look good...and when I say that, I mean it is possible to maintain the nice abs and toned body that you work so hard for.

SO. How many calories should you be eating? It varies from person to person. One of the best ways to find out how much you should be eating is to experiment. The first place I would start is with your BASAL METABOLIC RATE. Don't go below that number. In fact, you should generally be at least a couple hundred calories above that number (this does depend on your circumstances...hiring a knowledgeable trainer or coach ;) will help you to really dial in on the details). 

Next, what should your macro ratios be? Again, this will vary from person to person, and I repeat that the best way to find out what works for you is to experiment. I like to start people off with a 50% carbohydrate, 30% protein, and 20% fat ratio.

What?! You don't like math? Well, my friends...there is an app (website) for that:) and it's free. I use it myself to track what I am eating and it has a really cool feature that breaks your macros into a really pretty little pie chart for you:) 

If you think this is something that has potential for you, I hope that my tips can help! 

Pumpkin Pancakes with Creamy Chocolate Spread

These make a yummy breakfast (or treat, if you have cravings like I do)! I will be sure to post a picture another time...I ate them up too quickly to snap one this morning;)

Pancakes
1/3 cup old fashioned oatmeal
1 scoop protein powder
1 large egg
1/3 cup pumpkin puree
1 tsp pumpkin pie spice
~4 tbs water to thin batter

Creamy Chocolate Spread
1/4 cup fat free cottage cheese
1 tbs raw cacao powder
1 packet stevia powder

1 Serving (full recipe/6 pancakes):
Calories: 411
Carb: 35.7 g
Protein: 45.3 g
Fat: 9.7 g

Blend pancake ingredients. Melt coconut oil on a frying pan and let the pan get hot on a medium heat setting. Pour and fry each side of your pancakes. Blend spread ingredients until smooth and top your pancakes:) Yum!!!

Peanut Butter-Jelly Time...

Everyone has a favorite food item...well, mostly everyone, right? I have mine. It probably changes sometimes, but for the past few months I have been seriously in love with peanut butter (and other peanut products). I love it. Love, love, love it. I ate a few giant Costco tubs of roasted and salted peanuts last summer (shame on me...). I think maybe the overload came from my previous deprivation. My husband is allergic to peanuts, so I had not eaten much (if any) peanut products for about a year. Obviously, my husband wasn't sneaking them, so I have to take full credit for eating all the peanuts. Unfortunately, eating all those peanuts may very well have been a contributing factor to not reaching my goal of getting as lean as I wanted to.

I think this can happen with any food. When you restrict something you love (or like)too much, it can come back and bite you in the butt. It all comes down to moderation. It probably comes up a lot when referring to nutrition and a balanced diet for a reason. Moderation works. Have the little bit of treat that you need to satisfy your craving, but don't gorge yourself. A little piece of brownie every once in a while wont ruin you; although, a little piece of brownie every day might. Keep realistic portion sizes (and when it comes to brownies...very small...you only need to taste it, really).

Save treats for special occasions. Allow yourself to have it when the occasion arises. Family and close friends' birthday parties. Holidays (careful). Graduation. Passing a big test with an A (assuming you don't have tests every day). This will put your treats into a treats category, rather than putting them in a 'daily dose' category. Little changes like that can make a big difference.

Pay attention to where your cravings are really coming from. How much water have you been drinking? You might only be thirsty (3 L every day...at least!!!). Are you a woman? Is it your time of month (seriously, men. You have no idea how much that can really make a difference.)? How many carbs have you eaten already during the day (because sugar tends to be the biggest problem...lack of carbs = sugar cravings)? Are you experiencing more stress than usual? Keep a broad perspective. Ask yourself why you really want to eat. Make sure it is because you are hungry. Taking time to plan your meals and eating meals every few hours will help to prevent cravings (and encourage weight loss).

I'm going to continue to have my peanut butter (in moderation and with planning), but I have made the choices necessary to keep from eating the entire tub in one sitting (that is not an exaggeration). If you mess up, keep trying. eventually you will get it!