First place open bikini class D, October 2013
I am mostly writing this for myself, because I know that I wont be the first to say this; however, what I say can be a reality for a lot of girls, especially as bikini competitions become more popular.
I have always had a sweet tooth...a raging sweet tooth. Luckily for me, I had an easy enough time controlling it before I started competing. I would usually only have issues with it when I was at a party or social gathering where treats were present, and even then I set limits for myself that I would almost always follow.
My diet wasn't exactly on target, because I was only really focused on eating 'healthy' food and I wasn't eating for calories or for growth (I did a lot of cardio and some bodyweight resistance exercises then...but not as much lifting as I should have been doing). When I was taking a sports nutrition course for school, we had to do a diet analysis for ourselves. That was the first time that I logged my calories for myself. I was eating meals every two to three hours, but at the end of the day I was only eating around 1200 calories and most of the calories were from carbohydrates (bread...lots of bread). I started to learn more about macronutrient ratios and specifically protein.
I didn't start implementing what I had learned until the summer, but when I did, I noticed some changes. I lost a few pounds that I had gained from eating out too much when I moved to a bigger college town (lots of social events...lots of free 'food'...pizza). I am definitely my own worst critic, so I hated those few extra pounds and I was really hard on myself for gaining them (and I got married, so I wasn't the only one seeing all of my 'flaws' anymore). When I started to lean out a little bit, I was much happier. I was logging my calories and making sure that I was getting enough protein every day, but I wasn't paying attention to the sugar that I was eating...it was coming mostly from fruit sources, but if you haven't heard this already: sugar is sugar is sugar...no matter the source. So I was still a little softer than I wanted, and my abs refused to show.
Last fall, I started lifting a lot more. I started talking to my buddy, who was preparing to do the March 2013 NPC bodybuilding show and the more I talked to him, the more interested I was in doing the show. I knew that I would need a coach for my first show, and after looking around a lot, I found someone that I really liked and I began training. The biggest change was the diet. I was eating a lot more protein and a lot more calories. Because I was eating more, the first few weeks were awesome. I didn't get hungry, but it was also the holiday season so, as before, I struggled at family parties where all of our traditional treats were being served. I leaned out pretty quickly and I felt so good. I had energy and I felt good about the way I looked. I did cheat a few times (really big cheats...think sugar binge), and I always noticed how ill and lethargic I would feel the next day.
After doing 3 competitions throughout the year, I finally placed where I wanted to. I qualified to move on to national shows:) After a long year of very strict dieting, I was ready for a break. I was ready to be able to experiment with my meals a little bit more. I thought it would be easy for me to continue to eat well and maintain a lean figure, while adding muscle. It would be simple. Increase calories a little bit at a time. Gradually decrease cardio. Lift heavier. Grow. 1-2-3. Easy.
Like many things, it has been easier said than done. I get extremely intense cravings for junk food now. Food that I never even liked before. I have been pretty good about staying aware of my cravings, but I have given into them more often than I should. I tell myself that it's okay because I know how to lose it and I have a lot of time before my next competition. The thing is, I have gotten softer than I would like to be from too much sugar in my diet. I am harder on myself than anyone else, but I have a hard time being positive about the way I look, especially when that crappy feeling after eating crappy food is still there. My energy is lower and I am less motivated (even though this is when I really need the motivation). I have found that after competing I have a harder time choosing healthy food to satisfy my hunger. It is a lot harder for me to look at food for it's micronutrients and health benefits. It seems like the first thing to cross my mind is simply, 'how many calories does it have, and how will it affect my macros today?'.
I have been experimenting with my diet a lot during the past month and a half. I don't have much trouble with keeping it clean at this point, but I am now trying to find a balance that makes me happy. I wanted to do all paleo (and I still really do). I realized that until I have established something clean that I can maintain, paleo is a bit too drastic for me right now, though. My house is void of treats, so I really just need to focus a little bit more on my self-control at the parties, now;)
I took the overall for the open bikini division October 2013
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